Memorializing Deceased Family Members in Your Wedding Ceremony
June 11, 2009 by Wedding Ideas
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Your wedding day can be a bittersweet celebration if you’ve lost a parent or other close family member. While on the one hand, you’re thrilled to be proclaiming your love and commitment before your family and friends, you can’t help but be saddened that it’s not your father’s arm upon which you’ll be walking down the aisle or that the place of honor for the groom’s mother is conspicuously vacant.
Whether your family member has recently passed away or it has been many years, the void is felt on this day more so than any other. How do you honor these family members while balancing the joy of your wedding celebration? Here are some tips on how to incorporate the memory of your loved ones without turning your wedding ceremony into a funereal experience.
Be sure to discuss your wishes with three very important people–your fiancé(e), any surviving spouses of the deceased, and your officiant. You will want to let your fiancé(e) know to what depth you want your deceased family member mentioned in the ceremony. Be sure you are both on the same page in your comfort level with this. Bear in mind that this is also a difficult time for the surviving spouse. You’ll want to ascertain their comfort level with whatever honorarium you elect to incorporate. And lastly, use your officiant as a resource. He or she has done this a time or two and can make suggestions as to how to tactfully memorialize your loved one. Your officiant should also be alerted to the fact that the wedding day will be a difficult time for certain family members and he or she can assist by extending comfort and support where needed.
It might be easier for you to honor your loved one at the rehearsal dinner than on the day of the wedding itself. Since it is customary for the bride and groom to toast their parents at this dinner, it would be a natural extension to say a few words in tribute to your deceased family member. The rehearsal dinner will have less people than the wedding so it might increase your comfort level in speaking about such an emotional occurrence. Also, it is likely that your closest friends and family will be in attendance at the rehearsal dinner, making an emotionally intimate moment all the more meaningful.
If you’d rather include a memorial on the wedding day itself, consider the following options.
*Place some words of tribute into your program.
*Have an empty chair in remembrance of your family member. The bride or groom may place a rose on the chair as they pass, in silent tribute.
*In response to the question, “Who gives Bride in marriage?” the response might be, “In memory of her mother (father), I do.”
*The bride might want to carry a memento of her loved one–a handkerchief, a piece of jewelry, or a small photography tucked into her bouquet.
*After welcoming the guests, your officiant may add words saying, “Before we begin our celebration today, Bride and Groom would like us all to take a moment to remember those family members who can be with them today solely in spirit, especially (insert names).
*Include a photo of the deceased family member on the altar or unity candle table.
*Have a memorial candle which the bride or groom (or both) will light at the start of the ceremony.
*Compile a floral centerpiece. Have a vase on the altar, or at the back of the ceremony site. Give each guest a flower as they enter and have them place it in the vase. During the ceremony, one last flower can be placed in the vase in memory of the deceased family member. As a final symbolic gesture, the bride and groom can each insert a red rose into the center of the arrangement, signifying them being surrounded by the love and support of their family and friends. The arrangement can be used to decorate the head table or in another location at the reception.
*Have a song or reading at the ceremony and dedicate it to your deceased love one.
*At the reception, if the deceased was either the groom’s mother or the bride’s father, the bride or groom can dance the “parent’s dance” with another partner, but dedicate that special dance in memory of their parent.
*If you have a blessing said prior to the meal, the minister can incorporate a few words about the deceased.
However you decide to memorialize your loved one, remember that it is an intensely personal decision and there is no right or wrong way. What matters is your comfort level. Expect that your wedding day will be a roller coaster of emotions (it is for everyone, regardless of whether or not they’ve experienced the death of a family member).and be gentle with yourself and each other. And remember that you and your new spouse will have a very special guardian angel looking over for you as you enter your married life together.
Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and owner of Lyssabeth’s Unique, Joyful & Memorable Ceremonies. Visit her website at www.MemorableCeremonies.com, www.RockyMountainWeddingOfficiants.com or www.MemorableCeremoniesBA.com
Memorial Wedding Candle Ideas
Wedding Ceremony Savings – 7 Tips For Vows That Wow on a Budget
January 14, 2009 by Wedding Ideas
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Wedding Ceremony Savings – 7 Tips For Vows That Wow on a Budget
By Cori Russell
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that the wedding ceremony is the reason behind the big party. In reality, the ceremony is one of the few true essentials on the wedding planning checklist, so you’ll need to allot space for it in your wedding budget. Thankfully, vows that wow need not be a budget buster if you follow these seven tips to save on your wedding ceremony.
Site Savings
Two in One
Many reception venues also host on-site ceremonies. The ceremony fee may be built into the cost of the reception or tack on a minimal expense. Hosting both events in the same location will also save on transportation expenses.
Honor Your Faith
If you have a strong religious affiliation, your house of worship will likely host your wedding ceremony. This is good news for your budget, since members of the organization can usually rent the space free-of-cost (although a donation is a nice gesture).
Décor Deductions
Something Borrowed
Plan your wedding near a major religious holiday when your place of worship is decked with festive décor. “Borrowing” your ceremony décor means one less detail to plan – and one less item to purchase.
Simplify Your Site
Overdone decorations are unnecessary for a brief ceremony. Keep décor elements simple (and cost-effective), and save the pricey arrangements for the reception – as this is where your guests will spend the majority of time. For example, strategically placed candles set a romantic ambiance and cost considerably less than flowers.
Go Natural
Cut décor costs further by exchanging vows in a naturally beautiful location. A garden wedding hardly needs additional floral arrangements, while an ornate church may be breathtaking on its own
Music Markdowns
Amateur Alternatives
Ceremony musicians can tack on an extra $500-$1000 if you’re not careful. Consider some alternatives and pocket the extra cash for your reception entertainment. If your ceremony site boasts a respectable sound system, round up some classical CDs and someone reliable to cue the music – and voila – instant background music. Or better yet, ask a talented friend or family member to perform during the ceremony (a perfect job for that cousin you couldn’t quite squeeze into your wedding party). You’ll cut costs and give a special person a significant role on your special day.
Multi-Talented Musicians
Hire your reception entertainment to accompany your ceremony as well. Vendor pricing is much easier to negotiate when you purchase multiple services or package deals.
Now that you’re equipped with some cost saving tips, this complete wedding ceremony guide will walk you through the rest of the process of planning a memorable ceremony.
Cori Russell is editor for Elegala.com and Gala Weddings Magazine. Elegala.com is a complete weddings and wedding planning resource with a national directory of wedding venues and services, how-to guides, expert advice, checklists and photo galleries to walk brides and grooms through every step of the planning process.
Creative Wedding Theme Ideas
January 6, 2009 by Wedding Ideas
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Creative Ideas For Your Wedding Theme
By Shauna Arthurs
Choosing and planning your wedding theme is one of the most fun and creative parts of wedding planning.
Wedding themes can express the imagination of the bride and groom (or wedding planner) and can re-create any setting, from ancient Greece to an underwater paradise.
While most wedding themes are less extravagant than this and usually reflect a color scheme or perhaps a season, we have seen some fabulous and original wedding themes over the years. For brides looking for creative ideas, here are some to get you started:
* Fairytale: While a Cinderella theme is most common in this category, there are plenty of other options. Cinderella themes can be carried out with such ‘props’ as glass slipper favors, a carriage wedding cake and a horse and carriage to draw the happy couple away to their honeymoon or from the church to the reception.
* Color schemes: From black and gold to silver and white, or even red and pink for a Valentine’s theme, color schemes are a fairly easy and effective way to create a theme fro your wedding. You can color co-ordinate your bridesmaids’ dresses, the flowers and ribbons, and even the table decorations and confetti.
* Tropical: Whether you go with gorgeous tropical flower arrangements or a sandy beach theme, a tropical wedding theme allows your guests to feel as if they’re being whisked away to a tropical paradise. Add some bamboo torches and a calypso band and the illusion is complete!
* Mediterranean: Turquoise and shades of blue, with shimmering candles and all white linens…can you picture it? Add some belly dancers for entertainment and you have a Mediterranean-themed reception your guests will never forget.
* Underwater: Hang fishing nets with shells and sparkly fish…offer water-related favors and give bubble-blowers to the children, and you’ll have a lovely and fun underwater theme. There is lots you can do to create an ‘under the sea’ feel, so just get creative!
* Fantasy: Weddings are occasions where a bride can indulge the little girl inside, wearing a fantasy dress and planning a magical celebration. Many brides create a fantasy wedding, and there are endless possibilities here. From hiring a magician to adding sparkles or rainbows, you can do anything in this category, as long as it fulfills your fantasies!
* Butterfly: From confetti to favors, from napkins to centerpieces, incorporating a butterfly theme is whimsical and enchanting. Pin little butterflies (not real!) on the walls or on linens, offer little butterfly pins. We’ve also seen this done with dragonflies or fairies.
* Hawaiian: Hibiscus flowers, laeis and tropical Hawaiian music floating on the air…aaah, your guests will love it! Hire some professional Hawaiian dancers and the mood is complete.
Tuscan: Rustic yellows, wine and grape vines, and sunflowers are just the beginning. Research Tuscany and Tuscan décor and you’ll come up with plenty of ideas for this theme.
* Diamonds are forever: Add some sparkle and pizazz to your celebration with a diamonds theme. Little diamond-shaped sparkly confetti, diamond ring charms or key chains for favors, and a champagne fountain will help you get started. You can also do this with other gems or with pearls.
There are so many ideas and possibilities this list cannot possibly be exhaustive, and we hope we’ve given you a great start. You’ll find even more ideas at Wedding-Planning-Makes-Perfect, and be sure to check out the recommended Wedding Planning Guides. Happy wedding planning!
This article is brought to you by Shauna Arthurs and Wedding-Planning-Makes-Perfect.com, where this list continues. You may also enjoy Travel-like-A-Pro.com for help with your honeymoon planning.
The Proper Way to Carry the Bouquet at Your Wedding Ceremony
December 24, 2008 by Wedding Ideas
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Your Wedding Ceremony – The Proper Way to Carry a Bouquet at Your
Perfect Wedding Ceremony
By Ann Keeler Evans
How many weddings have you been to where the bride and her bridesmaids have walked down the aisle acting as if they were carrying something unpleasant rather than a handful of beautiful flowers? This is one of those little things that both jars me as I stand watching a line of beautiful women walk toward me and makes me scratch my head. I don’t know why either the wedding planners or the florists aren’t teaching you how to hold your bouquets. One of the wedding planners jobs is to make you look great. Looking as if you know how to handle a bouquet simply makes you look more at ease. It lets the flowers do their job which is to declare you a gorgeous confident woman. The florist has spent hours making your flowers perfect. Making sure you carry your bouquet correctly allows the world to notice how beautiful the flowers are and not that the bride looked as if the stems to the flowers might have been too hot to handle or to hold too close to her body. You got these flowers to celebrate your marriage to your wonderful partner. Enjoy them.
So a few simple pointers to help you be comfortable at your wedding ceremony.
* Make sure that your bouquet and those of your attendants are not so heavy that you won’t be able to hold them through your wedding.
* A wedding bouquet is held at about belly button height. Hold your hands snug against your belly (which offers you support in holding the flowers and doesn’t let anyone see that your hands are shaking!).
* You hold the flowers toward the community, not the stems. No one wants to see the stems, no matter how beautifully wrapped.
* If you’re carrying a sheaf of flowers, they rest in the crook of your left arm like a baby. Borrow your friend’s baby and practice a bit. Look at old movies about Pageant winners.
* Practice the royal wave, you may want to use it that day, you’ll certainly feel like royalty.
* If you’re carrying a ball of flowers suspended from a ribbon on your wrist, fold that arm across your waist so that the ball hangs down the front of your gown.
* A nosegay, or tussy-mussy is a lighter bouquet which can be held at belly button level if large enough or simply at waist level.
* During the ceremony, have a small table with a receptacle that can hold your flowers while you’re needing your hands. The vase will have to be heavy enough to hold the flowers without tipping over. (Stones or glass marbles in the bottom of the vase can help that.) You may want to hand off your flowers, but many of the bouquets are so heavy these days that it can be too much to hold two bouquets.
* You’ll want the same vase at the reception so that your flowers can be displayed to their full advantage. And the attendants will need vases in front of them as well.
* Flower balls should be light enough that they can continue to swing from your wrist (and not so long they drag on the ground should you drop your arm to the side.).
* Tussy-mussies can often tuck into a loop at the waste of your dress, if you have thought about it. Otherwise, they can sit in a smaller vase.
There. Simple, easy, and now you’re set to be a beautiful bride and the queen of your day as you join your heart with your beloved’s in marriage.
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! If you want in-depth pointers, ideas, information about designing your perfect wedding ceremony, explore my site! And now I’d like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding vows of your dreams and the marriage of a lifetime: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free
For more wedding ceremony ideas visit Stress Away Bridal Cafe- Your source for wedding ideas and free wedding websites.
9 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Ceremony
November 24, 2008 by Wedding Ideas
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Wedding Ceremony – 9 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Ceremony
by Cori Russell
Hey – it’s all about you; take back your ceremony! It is a ritual – time honored and sacred – but that does not mean your wedding ceremony has to be like every other…yawn. Of course, some couples choose to be extremely original and opt for exchanging vows on a roller coaster, while bungee jumping or even dressed as trekies. I say – good for them for such uninhibited displays of originality. But even if you prefer a more traditional and “scream-free” wedding ceremony, you can still add a touch of personality.
A Scenic Location
Not every wedding ceremony must take place in a house of worship. Outdoor locations and other unique ceremony sites can make for ceremonies that are both spiritual and memorable.
A Refreshing Welcome
Welcome and refresh your guests by serving lemonade, iced tea or water. It’s a nice touch, and your guests will appreciate the gesture. Depending on the season or nature of your wedding, you can use your refreshment of choice to tie in the theme or style of the day.
Personalized Pew/Row Decorations
Who says your ceremony decorations must be floral? How about draping framed photographs of the bride and groom tied with ribbon over the ends of each row?
Customized Programs
Summer brides – how about ceremony programs in the shape of a fan? Beach brides – use a shell or small piece of drift wood as a weight, and place programs on each guests’ chair before arrival. You get the idea…Or keep the shape and style traditional, and include a personal letter or poem to add some interest to this often overlooked detail.
The Grand Entrance
There are other ways to make your entrance beyond the traditional march with your father. Ride in on a horse…. Or be escorted by both parents, a close uncle, brother, friend-even a pet!
Monogrammed Aisle Runner
You will know this is your ceremony while walking down the isle on a runner personalized with your monogram or logo.
Beyond “Here Comes the Bride”
If walking down the isle to the same song as thousands of brides before you doesn’t sound appealing, let your favorite tune can’t make a memorable substitute!
Gender Bend the Bridal Party
Who says your maid of honor must be a “maid?” If your best pal happens to be a guy, have a “man of honor.” Same goes for the best man; there’s no reason why there can’t be a “best woman.”
Write your own Wedding Vows, Readings, Poems etc.
Nothing puts that special personalized stamp on a ceremony quite like vows and readings prepared by the bride and groom themselves. These spoken words expose your mind and your heart to each other and to your audience. Get started with a guide to writing your wedding vows
Learn more about how a wedding planner can save you money
Cori Russell is editor for Elegala.com and Gala Weddings Magazine. Elegala.com is a comprehensive wedding planning resource with a national directory of wedding venues and services, along with articles, expert advice, checklists and photo galleries to lead brides through every step of the planning process.
For more wedding ceremony ideas visit Stress Away Bridal.
