The Etiquette of Wedding Etiquette

Weddings are one of the few times in modern life when etiquette becomes a frequent topic of conversation. As people become more and more wrapped up in the idea of planning the “perfect” wedding, there are times when etiquette ends up being used as a weapon, which is certainly not what Miss Manners or Emily Post ever intended. To help you avoid this pitfall, here is the etiquette on wedding etiquette.

One thing that is oven overlooked is that one of the primary goals of etiquette is to make life as pleasant and sociable for everyone. The whole reason behind having a set of manners is to give our society a set of agreed upon guidelines to help us act in a way that will make our daily interactions with others easy and enjoyable. To put it another way, if we did not have etiquette, everyone would have to make up their own rules as they went along, which would mean that their intentions would be unclear to everyone else. It is like visiting a foreign country with different customs; you are likely to offend people inadvertently if you are not familiar with their set of manners.

What etiquette is not is a tool to put other people down. The idea is not to be able to “catch” someone in the act of using the wrong fork, but rather to help the diners know which fork to use for which course. Once learned, basic social manners quickly become second nature, which makes life much easier. So how does this apply to wedding etiquette? For starters, it means that wedding etiquette should never be used to put someone down or humiliate them. An example of this would be the mother in law who critiques the bride’s bridal attire by saying that everyone knows that only pearls are proper for weddings. Not only would she be mistaken (crystal bridal jewelry is always appropriate too), but by trying to correct another person’s etiquette, she is showing her own lack of manners.

There certainly may be instances during the course of planning a wedding where the bride or her mother realizes that someone else is committing a breach of etiquette. The trick, then, is to graciously get them to change their plans without being rude and telling them flat out that they have no understanding of what is polite or correct. A lot of this depends on your relationship with that person. Let’s say that the bride has mentioned to her mother that she plans to include her bridal registry information on the wedding invitation. Now her mother knows that this is a horrible faux pas that will be sure to offend some of the guests. And yet, if she were to blurt out, “How rude! Don’t you know anything about proper wedding etiquette?”, that she would be breaking the rule of etiquette which says that etiquette should not be used as a club to beat a person down.

But to take no action would be to allow her daughter to do something offensive and in poor taste. The polite way to inform another of their breach of etiquette is with extreme tact and gentleness: “Darling, I am sure that it is very common these days to print the registry information on wedding invitations, but some of your older relatives will find it in poor taste. Why don’t you just put the registry details on your wedding website and I will make sure to spread the word to anyone who asks?”

Etiquette does provide kind ways to help others out of their social miscues with grace and tact. It also says that there are times (like when someone drinks the water from the finger bowl) that the best thing to do is simply to overlook an etiquette accident. Taking care to treat your family and friends with kindness is far more important than always being “correct”, which is a great lesson for everyone involved in planning a wedding.

About the Author Laura Firenze

Laura is interested in wedding planning and wedding trends including jewelry,receptions and gifts. Bridal jewelry which is handcrafted with luminous freshwater pearls or sparkling Swarovski crystals is always in good taste.

For more on wedding etiquette visit:

Plan Weddings Now for wedding guest etiquette tips.
New and Blue for rehearsal dinner attire ideas.
Utah Weddings for receiving line etiquette tips.

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Wedding Ideas Weekly

There are so many helpful wedding ideas and gorgeous wedding inspiration circulating on the web via blogs, websites and social networks including Twitter and Facebook. Here are 10 of my favorites for the week:

1. Ruffled shares 15 gorgeous wedding dresses for under $500!
2. Etiquette Expert Talley Sue Hohlfeld answers the question “Must engagement-party guests be invited to the wedding?”.
3. Expert make up artist D.D. Nickel shares makeup tips for your wedding day.
4. Learn how to properly cut a wedding cake at the Austin Wedding Blog.
5. Photgrapher Michelle Hayes shares a charming, fun Rollerskating Wedding.
6. Wedding Music Unveiled shares information and a free checklist that busy couples should use before letting their Musician choose their wedding music.
7. Ajalon Printing and Design share lovely Invitations for Nature Lovers.
8. The Wedding Diva’s share gorgeous vintage-inspired birdcage veils.
9. If you’re having a vintage themed wedding and looking for a cool way to include some retro correspondence into your wedding plans, Globetrotting Bride shares a clever idea.
10. Something for the guys- The Man-gagement Ring. What an awesome way to show he’s taken!

Have a stress-free wedding planning week!

Do You Have to Allow Single Wedding Guests to Bring a Date?

It is an age old dilemma: must a bride and groom allow every single guest to bring along a date to their wedding? Are “plus ones” truly mandatory? This handy guide will solve your wedding guest issues, show you how to draw the line, and give you the etiquette that you need to support your decision.

First the short answer: No. It is not necessary to include “and guest” on every wedding invitation. Your wedding is really about sharing a special moment in your life with those that are nearest and dearest to you. Strangers whom you have never met are really not a part of that equation. Many brides and grooms would prefer not to invite their guests to bring along their own guests, but are afraid that it would be somehow rude to draw a line about who may come to their own wedding. Fear not; etiquette is on your side on this one. It is absolutely acceptable not to put “and guest” on the wedding invitations of single friends and relatives.

The key to pulling this off with a minimum of hurt feelings is to know where the line is and to stick with it in an evenhanded manner. In other words, it would not be fair to allow some single guests to bring dates but not others. It is along the lines of a wedding’s policy on children: you either have them, or you don’t. Period. This way even if your guests do not like your decision, they will at least see that it is fair and consistent.

Bear in mind that not all unmarried people are single (it should go without saying that a married couple would always be invited as a pair). The guests whom you invite to your wedding are at least in theory special people in your life; before mailing out invitations, take the time to do a little research into their romantic status. An unmarried couple who live together should definitely be invited as a pair, just like a husband and wife. It is definitely a nice gesture to also invite partners in long term relationships, even they do not live together. The names of those partners should appear on the wedding invitation. In other words, they are wanted and invited, not random “plus ones”.

All of this sounds great in practice, until you start getting calls from your single friends asking if they can bring someone along to your wedding. Then what? Hold firm in your decision and apply it evenly. One easy out is to simply say that you cannot afford any extra guests or that you are at the max capacity for your venue. Those are pretty hard statements for anyone to question.

You might also point out to your unattached guests that a wedding can be a great place to meet someone new. Love is in the air, and everyone is dressed their best. The single ladies will be decked out in their prettiest dresses and most glamorous accessories, like Swarovski crystal bracelets. The single men will be looking sharp in their handsome suits. A few spins around the dance floor, Swarovski crystal bracelets sparkling in the light, some shared laughs, who knows…the next great love could be the one that blossomed at your wedding. Now isn’t that better than trying to scrounge up a last-minute wedding date who doesn’t know anyone and would probably prefer to stay home? With that argument in hand, you may just convince your single friends that you are doing them a favor by skipping the “and guest”!

About the Author Laura Firenze

Finding the whole process of weddings and all the planning that goes into one fascinating, Laura writes about many of the considerations that brides have to deal with. Make any outfit more fabulous with stacks of sparkling Swarovski crystal bracelets.

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Rehearsal Dinner Planning Etiquette

Rehearsal Dinner
by Lois Reyes

A rehearsal dinner is an informal dinner that takes place after a wedding rehearsal, usually a few days before the wedding, although it is commonly held the night before of the wedding ceremony. Wedding etiquette does not demand that you have a rehearsal dinner, although advises take such opportunity to thank the attendants for all their help planning the wedding.

While some couples prefer both the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner take place two or three days before the wedding to relax on the wedding’s eve, the wedding day is such a busy day that it is more likely the bride and the groom will no eat until the reception, and not exactly immediately.

So eating with your loved ones the night before is more than advisable, necessary! Rehearsal dinners were traditionally paid by the groom’s parents, but this expense is becoming in a part of the wedding planning budget. In families who share strong bond one another, are the parents of both the groom and the bride who paid for the rehearsal dinner.

At the rehearsal dinner the couple will toast, thank the attendants and present small gratitude gifts to their groomsmen and bridesmaids. Sometimes the people invited to the rehearsal dinner have been helping the couple but have not socialized among them so taking this opportunity to play ice-breaking games will contribute with the success of your wedding day getting the friends of the groom and the bride meet in anticipation.

If you are a bride that is going to marry but you are unsure of having a rehearsal dinner planned, ask you future mother-in-law, as this responsibility belongs to her. I she is not considering to celebrate it, discuss with her and your own mother the idea of having one and let them decide if you can count with their help, otherwise go ahead yourself.

Attending a rehearsal dinner requires sending out invitations, but these can be simple formats that are sent a few days before the wedding invitation. With the Internet and many couples wanting to have out-of town guests, sometimes is better send rehearsal dinner invitations by email, unless you are following a more traditional format in every stage of your wedding planning.

Rehearsal dinner is a custom originated in the United States, country at which it is fully integrated into the matrimony traditions, although it is also commonly observed in Canada. Because of the informal nature of this dinner, you do not need to celebrate this event at a luxury venue or restaurant and the food in the menu does not need to be so elaborated.

Rehearsal dinners are commonly held at the groom or bride’s home unless the numbers of guests require taking the dinner outdoors or at a specific place with enough room for all. Some couples prefer to have a rehearsal dinner at an early our so everyone can enjoy with yard activities within the house and without formalities that the wedding etiquette will demand to all of them during the wedding day.

Lois Reyes is an expert wedding planner as well as a staff writer at Wedding Printer. The Wedding Printer offers quality wedding stationary and information on Wedding Etiquette.