Do You Have to Allow Single Wedding Guests to Bring a Date?
November 15, 2009 by Wedding Ideas
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It is an age old dilemma: must a bride and groom allow every single guest to bring along a date to their wedding? Are “plus ones” truly mandatory? This handy guide will solve your wedding guest issues, show you how to draw the line, and give you the etiquette that you need to support your decision.
First the short answer: No. It is not necessary to include “and guest” on every wedding invitation. Your wedding is really about sharing a special moment in your life with those that are nearest and dearest to you. Strangers whom you have never met are really not a part of that equation. Many brides and grooms would prefer not to invite their guests to bring along their own guests, but are afraid that it would be somehow rude to draw a line about who may come to their own wedding. Fear not; etiquette is on your side on this one. It is absolutely acceptable not to put “and guest” on the wedding invitations of single friends and relatives.
The key to pulling this off with a minimum of hurt feelings is to know where the line is and to stick with it in an evenhanded manner. In other words, it would not be fair to allow some single guests to bring dates but not others. It is along the lines of a wedding’s policy on children: you either have them, or you don’t. Period. This way even if your guests do not like your decision, they will at least see that it is fair and consistent.
Bear in mind that not all unmarried people are single (it should go without saying that a married couple would always be invited as a pair). The guests whom you invite to your wedding are at least in theory special people in your life; before mailing out invitations, take the time to do a little research into their romantic status. An unmarried couple who live together should definitely be invited as a pair, just like a husband and wife. It is definitely a nice gesture to also invite partners in long term relationships, even they do not live together. The names of those partners should appear on the wedding invitation. In other words, they are wanted and invited, not random “plus ones”.
All of this sounds great in practice, until you start getting calls from your single friends asking if they can bring someone along to your wedding. Then what? Hold firm in your decision and apply it evenly. One easy out is to simply say that you cannot afford any extra guests or that you are at the max capacity for your venue. Those are pretty hard statements for anyone to question.
You might also point out to your unattached guests that a wedding can be a great place to meet someone new. Love is in the air, and everyone is dressed their best. The single ladies will be decked out in their prettiest dresses and most glamorous accessories, like Swarovski crystal bracelets. The single men will be looking sharp in their handsome suits. A few spins around the dance floor, Swarovski crystal bracelets sparkling in the light, some shared laughs, who knows…the next great love could be the one that blossomed at your wedding. Now isn’t that better than trying to scrounge up a last-minute wedding date who doesn’t know anyone and would probably prefer to stay home? With that argument in hand, you may just convince your single friends that you are doing them a favor by skipping the “and guest”!
About the Author Laura Firenze
Finding the whole process of weddings and all the planning that goes into one fascinating, Laura writes about many of the considerations that brides have to deal with. Make any outfit more fabulous with stacks of sparkling Swarovski crystal bracelets.
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